My own wardrobe malfunction

September 29, 2010 at 10:36 PM Leave a comment

I have an awesome closet.  It is HUGE and it is full of clothes.  I have blouses in just about every color.  There are so many shoes, I have two shoe racks and I still do not have a place for every pair. My husband only uses a small fraction of the space so I am a lucky girl!

This morning I entered my closet looking for something (anything) to wear.  It had been a long week.  Jesse has been sick off and on all week.  I have had too little sleep and I was cranky and tired.  I just needed one outfit to wear to work.  Just one.

Well, out of 5ooo shirts and 1000 pair of pants, I couldn’t find anything to wear.  I failed to mention that just because I have a full closet doesn’t mean anything in that closet actually FITS me.  On the contrary, my closet mocks me.  It screams, “Oh , look at all these cute clothes!  You would look so adorable in this microscopic skirt with this tiny little blouse – if only you weren’t 50 lbs. overweight. ”  Looking around my closet should bring me pleasure but instead it irks me.  I don’t the size 4 and 6’s taunting me.

This particular day was difficult.  I couldn’t wear a pair of black pants again.  I had worn black pants two days in a row (although, thankfully, not the same pair).  The only thing I had that I could wear was a pair of gray pants that were too big (ironic huh?)  I grabbed the pants, a belt, and a tank top that matched and I got dressed.  The only shoes that matched were a pair of Micheal Kors stilts that I hadn’t worn yet.  I am by no means wealthy, but I do find a lot of cool shoes on the bargain rack – this was one of those pairs of shoes. They are 4 inch dark red patent leather Mary Jane-like shoes – very cute. I found a matching sweater (I can’t wear a tank top to work without a jacket now can I?) and off to work I go.

Long story, short, it was not a good clothes day.  My sweater for some reason made me itch, it smelled like syrup and I snagged it on my desk.  My tank top nicely displayed my roly-poly midsection and my pants kept falling down.  The best part was the GINORMOUS blisters my beautiful shoes gave me.

After that traumatic day, I decided to move beyond the shame and I decide to clean out all the distracting clothes out of my closet.  To help me with my goal, I  am going to give all the small clothes to my teeny-tiny friends and I will donate what is left.  I will try not to dwell on the amount of money I have wasted as I look at all the tags on the clothes I had bought thinking, at the time, they would fit me.  Now they hang in my closet gathering dust until I get rid of them.

I have passed on my extra clothes to two of my best  (and much tinier) friends at work.  I will find some pleasure in some of my clothes being put to good use.  Sure, I will have pangs of envy but, hey, it’s just clothes. right?

Now I will walk into my closet and at least I will know that I can wear anything I see.  That will rock. Being able to see the closet floor will REALLY make me happy .  It will make my hubby even happier!!

Win. Win.


Entry filed under: About Me, Life in General. Tags: , , .

Okay, I was wrong. I have no idea what you are talking about. I am perfect and so is my kid”.

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