I need a HUGE push!
Okay, I will put it out there. I want to change careers. I know. No surprise there.
I had a week of vacation and I LOVED it! I usually think too much and get myself in trouble when I take large amounts of time off from work! This time was no exceptions. My mind went into crazy overdrive.
Ideally, I would be a stay-at home mom. I just had a week off and I was in heaven. I relaxed a lot but mostly, I got a lot of things done around the house. I got our budget in order and realized it was a disaster. When you spend more money on entertainment and junk than on your mortgage, you are not spending wisely! I organized, cleaned, and discarded a lot of stuff that had been neglected. I really enjoyed being home, not wearing make-up, and not feeling stressed. Well, I am NOT going to be able to afford to be a SAHM, so I need to work. The question is, do I HAVE to work as an administrative assistant for the next 12 years?
My current work is not something I am particularly passionate about, therefore, I am not particularly fantastic at it. Depending on who you ask, I am a good admin. Although, when describing my admin. abilities, “great” just doesn’t come to mind. I lack the passion for it. I know, that sounds rather sad! So, what to do?
Well, I have thought about this a lot lately. I’m 42 ½ and I feel like I should be a grown up by now, doing what I wanted to do when I was 18 ½. I always wanted to help people and be a psychologist. I even got a degree in psychology but I have run off course considerably. I need a HUGE push to get my tush back into school.
To say I am busy with my work and family right now is such a huge understatement, I should be arrested for even typing that. Jesse is having some anxiety issues and he is still suffering from ADD. Chuck is now having issues with his over protective-brother. I barely see my husband and family. I am busy! But…..I am also so out of my natural element, I am going bonkers. I need to be pushed into taking this huge plunge into the unknown. But how can I even consider that when you consider the following:
- Graduate school when I can’t even shave my legs on a regular basis?
- Writing papers when I can’t keep toilet paper in the bathroom?
- Shelling out money for school when I haven’t even purchased my iPad?
- Using and challenging my brain when my brain currently can’t handle the plot on Sponge Bob Square Pants (I suspect there isn’t one)?
- Taking time away from my family when I think they need me more than ever?
Having said all that, I must say:
- I LOVE the people I currently work with.
- I get enormous satisfaction when I do a good job and I am appreciated.
- I love the security and benefits of my job.
- I can retire in 12 years. Ugh!!
- I have a stable paycheck.
- I am so grateful that I have the job I have because so many don’t have a job half as nice as mine. I know I am lucky.
- Except for when I am with family and friends, the only time I really feel alive is when I am helping someone through a tough time or I am learning how to help someone through a tough time.
- I scour everything and anything that deals with my passions while I am not working and I close off that part of me when I am working.
- People fascinate me, my work tends to deflate me.
- I am wishing my life away – I wish it was Friday – I wish I was old enough to retire today. Who wishes to be 65?
- I secretly want another baby partly just to get another maternity leave (not totally true but not totally false either!)
- You only live once. Right?!!!
I need a huge push. Push me!!