I need a HUGE push!

July 23, 2010 at 1:35 PM 1 comment

Okay, I will put it out there.  I want to change careers.  I know.  No surprise there.

I had a week of vacation and I LOVED it!  I usually think too much and get myself in trouble when I take large amounts of time off from work!  This time was no exceptions.  My mind went into crazy overdrive.

Ideally, I would be a stay-at home mom.  I just had a week off and I was in heaven.  I relaxed a lot but mostly, I got a lot of things done around the house.  I got our budget in order and realized it was a disaster.  When you spend more money on entertainment and junk than on your mortgage, you are not spending wisely!  I organized, cleaned, and  discarded a lot of stuff that had been neglected.  I really enjoyed being home, not wearing make-up, and not feeling stressed.  Well,  I am NOT going to be able to afford to be a SAHM, so I need to work.  The question is, do I HAVE to work as an administrative assistant for the next 12 years?

My current work is not something I am particularly passionate about, therefore, I am not particularly fantastic at it.  Depending on who you ask, I am a good admin. Although, when describing my admin. abilities, “great” just doesn’t come to mind.  I lack the passion for it.  I know, that sounds rather sad! So, what to do?

Well, I have thought about this a lot lately.  I’m 42 ½ and I feel like I should be a grown up by now, doing what I wanted to do when I was 18 ½.  I always wanted to help people and be a psychologist.  I even got a degree in psychology but I have run off course considerably.  I need a HUGE push to get my tush back into school.

To say I am busy with my work and family right now is such a huge understatement, I should be arrested for even typing that.  Jesse is having some anxiety issues and he is still suffering from ADD.  Chuck is now having issues with his over protective-brother.  I barely see my husband and family.  I am busy! But…..I am also so out of my natural element, I am going bonkers.  I need to be pushed into taking this huge plunge into the unknown.  But how can I even consider that when you consider the following:

  • Graduate school when I can’t even shave my legs on a regular basis?
  • Writing papers when I can’t keep toilet paper in the bathroom?
  • Shelling out money for school when I haven’t even purchased my iPad?
  • Using and challenging my brain when my brain currently can’t handle the plot on Sponge Bob Square Pants (I suspect there isn’t one)?
  • Taking time away from my family when I think they need me more than ever?

Having said all that, I must say:

  • I LOVE the people I currently work with. 
  • I get enormous satisfaction when I do a good job and I am appreciated. 
  • I love the security and benefits of my job.
  • I can retire in 12 years. Ugh!!
  • I have a stable paycheck.
  • I am so grateful that I have the job I have because so many don’t have a job half as nice as mine.  I know I am lucky.

But….

  • Except for when I am with family and friends, the only time I really feel alive is when I am helping someone through a tough time or I am learning how to help someone through a tough time.
  • I scour everything and anything that deals with my passions while I am not working and I close off that part of me when I am working.
  • People fascinate me, my work tends to deflate me.
  • I am wishing my life away – I wish it was Friday – I wish I was old enough to retire today.  Who wishes to be 65?
  • I secretly want another baby partly just to get another maternity leave (not totally true but not totally false either!)
  • You only live once. Right?!!!

Help!!

I need a huge push. Push me!!

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Entry filed under: About Me, full time working mom, Life in General, Work. Tags: , , .

I only have 24 hours! Do you smell something?

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Paula  |  July 26, 2010 at 1:55 PM

    Consider yourself pushed – follow your dreams!!

    Reply

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