You know you are old when….
You know you are getting older when:
- You are called “ma’am” by people who look old
- Your child says you are too old for a two piece bathing suit and you already knew that.
- You start avoiding foods because they cause you indigestion
- You know what sciatica is because you have it.
- When filling out a form on-line you have to scroll WAY down on the list to find your year of birth.
- Kids think that your music is classic rock and they may be right.
- You find yourself saying “When I was your age…” to more and more people.
- Your toenails are not only in need of a pedicure, they need a whitening agent.
- Some of the “seen on TV’ products actually look good to you (the Reacher, Shoe Dini and the Snuggie)
- You go to a plastic surgeon to consult on having a scar removed and they pitch a whole body makeover – (breast lift, facelift, and body lift).
- Comfortable shoes are filling up your closet.
- Elastic pants and shorts are looking very inviting.
- Polyester blouses with floral prints aren’t looking to bad either. (they match the elastic pants and no ironing)
- You find yourself saying “those kids” often even though “those kids” are in their 20’s.
- Your knees are shot.
- The 70’s are back and you remember living it.
- You talk about iconic movies from your heyday and are shocked when your friends admit they never watched it because it came out 10 years before they were born!
- You cannot stay awake past 10 even if you are having a great time.
- On a timeline, you are closer to retirement than you are to your hire date at work.
- You think about having a baby and you realize menopause is more likely.
- You see a cute guy and realize you could be his mom if you had him at 14. But still!
- The celebrities that you grew up idolizing are now grandparents.
- Gray hair is popping up everywhere.
- You no longer want to go to places that are “too loud”.
- Retirement seems like “the life”
- Your kids say they are ready to start dating.
- You see pictures of your parents when they were younger than you are now and you think they look old. You remember thinking they looked old when the picture was taken.
- You look at current pictures of you and you think you look old!
- Your husband has become the crabby old man of the neighborhood and you are older than him.
- Drinking, clubbing, and partying with friends becomes drinking coffee, talking to friends, and lounging. It is more fun too!
Finally, the painful clincher. The dagger in the heart.
- You spend thirty minutes picking out a cute outfit and you walk downstairs. Your sweet 10 year-old son looks at you, grimaces and says, “Mom, you look cute but aren’t you too old to wear that?”