I realized I have 13 years left.
I was talking to some of my co-workers today and the subject of retirement came up. At that time, I realized I don’t really think about retirement much at all except the occasional wish that I was already retired! I am still relatively young but I suppose I should think about it more often. Sure, I contribute to my 401K and all that other stuff, but I just don’t like to think about it. The reason I don’t is because, frankly, it depresses me. Why does it depress me? Because the big day is still very far away. I realized I have 13 years left!
Let me explain something. I am in the wrong job. Not only am I in the wrong job; I have been in the wrong job for 13 years! I love many things about my job but I detest many things too. I have amazing benefits and I work with some incredible people. The perks are fantastic and we have complete job security, yet it is not enough.
What is my problem? Why can’t I accept the good and let go of the bad? I suppose it is because I had a dream for myself and I am so far from that dream, it is hard for me to cope. I am not like an artist who has to settle for teaching art instead of doing art full-time. I am not the person who dreamed of being a doctor and had to settle being a dentist or a nurse. I am the person who dreamed of being a psychologist who ended up being an administrative assistant. I am proud of the job I do and I have respect for the job and anyone who does it. I am just not an admin. at heart.
So, I have 13 years left. On the road to retirement, I am halfway there. Can I do it? Can I manage to keep it together long enough to receive my pension? I don’t know. I just don’t know.